If Your Life Story Depresses You or Holds You Back, Change It – Tiny Buddha

Self-limiting beliefs often stem from stories you’re clinging onto that aren’t serving you. They hold you back from true happiness and success.

“The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” ~Pema Chodron

Too often we let stories from our past define us. We tell them over and over to ourselves and to others until it becomes our truth. What if, without deviating from actual facts, we choose to tell different stories? What if these new stories could bring us more freedom and strength?

Below are some true facts about my own life. I’ll follow each one with the stories I could be telling myself about each one, followed by the story I choose to go with.

Fact Number One

My father abused my teenage mother when she was pregnant with me and left us when I was just a few days old. I’ve never seen him again.

The stories I could be telling myself now:

Men are bad.

Men can’t be trusted.

The reason I can’t hold on to a relationship is because my father left me.

I’m unwanted.

I’m unlovable.

The true story I choose to go with:

They were young. He felt trapped and scared. His fears drove him to behave very badly. He had his own issues from his own childhood.

It sucks, but it doesn’t define me or shape my views of men or myself.

If I’d held onto the negative self talk or views about men, it could have prevented me from being the happy, loving, loved person I am today.

Fact Number Two

In my tween / teen years my mother worked nights in a factory and I didn’t see her before or after school. There was never a parent attending my school music and sporting events or awards presentations and I found my own way home afterward, often walking back in the dark, freezing cold winters of Minnesota.

I got myself up and to school on time, oversaw my own homework, dinner, and bedtimes, and often that of my younger brother too.

The story I could be telling:

My mother didn’t care about me. She was irresponsible. She put me in danger and neglected my needs.

I have to fend for myself in this world or nobody else will. I need to look out for number one. This is why I’m lonely. This is why I never succeeded. I was handed a bum deal compared to my friends. I could have made more of my life if I’d felt supported and had good guidance at pivotal stages of my youth.

The story I choose to go with:

My mother was doing the best she could with what she had.

Being very independent from a young age taught me responsibility.

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Source: If Your Life Story Depresses You or Holds You Back, Change It – Tiny Buddha

Category : Living It.
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